Note: I cut this one a little short so I could fit it in as a today post. The next post will be short too, as it's really just an epilogue. Links: Part 1 Part 2 Adventures In Parodyverse - Tempered Part 3     "What makes a hero?" Lara Night repeated the question Hatman asked her as they rode across town through heavy rain, and the associated slow traffic, in the back of an unusually clean Paradopolis taxi.          Hatman nodded. "In your opinion," he prodded her with the question further.          She shrugged at first as she glanced outside into the rain, watching the partially obscured passengers in the taxi next to her through the haze. Lara wasn't sure exactly how to answer a question like that. "I think...it's someone who feels love and hope and wants everyone around them to feel the same, and not misery and suffering."          Hatman paused for a moment, thinking about what she said. "That's not bad," he admitted. "I guess you're wondering why I asked?"          Lara nodded. She was looking at him now rather than out the window.          "The Lair Legion has a sort of entrance exam," he explained. "It's more of a formality, really. Recently we gathered in Sir Mumphrey's office and we asked Yuki Shiro some questions to get acquainted with her. That was one of the questions."          "How did she answer?"          "You know her." He shrugged. "She said being a hero was about putting everything on the line and refusing to quit until the job was done."          "That's pretty good too." Lara leaned back against the seat. "So...why are you asking me Lair Legion exam questions?"          He smiled. "Just the one," he said. "I'm always curious about how someone will answer that question. He eyed Lara as he again pushed the last question she had yet to answer. You still haven't told me about your home."     "Oh. Right." Lara gave him an apologetic smile. She genuinely forgot to respond after the cab arrived. "It's a lot like your world," she said, "Maybe a bit more advanced. Well...maybe not, you guys have some impressive stuff. But at home it's more...subtle."          "Subtle?" Jay asked.          She nodded. "Yes. The technology we have is more evenly distributed and common to the point where it's taken for granted. And nobody is even aware of the powerful forces working in the background...Shema, the Guardians like me...just quietly look after things. Everyone is completely oblivious to it."          "Kind of sad, isn't it? I mean...some people love the Lair Legion, some people hate us, but we're always in the spotlight."          "There are pros and cons to either way." Lara shrugged. "I guess it's nice to know the public is behind you, though. Even though they sometimes seem to be against you." She looked out the side window for a moment. "Uptown, eh? Are we going to that mission by any chance?"          "No, no." Jay chuckled as he shook his head. "Close, though. I try to look after that whole area of Paradopolis since the police really don't have much of a presence there. That's probably the only thing keeping it from falling into near lawlessness."          "If you see some of the cities in my world you'd be surprised how typical Paradopolis is." Lara spoke very calmly, almost slipping by the next part with her casual tone. "Weird, but typical."      ---     The cab stopped in front of what seemed like a run-down apartment building. It wasn't until Hatman got out of the cab and raced, through the rain, into a dirty alley with Lara following closely. There, a badly worn sign hung over a plain-looking beaten door. The sign read 'The Fatal Toilet'. Or used to, before half the letters wore off.          "Is this a bar?" Lara asked. She didn't wait for the answer before entering, because she was rapidly becoming soaked from the rain.          The interior was actually a bit cleaner than the outside at least, presumably because it had to comply with city health regulations. Even so, the furniture and floors were well worn, looking as if they hadn't been refurbished in several decades.          "Yes," Jay admitted. He chose a corner booth and invited Lara to sit before he took a seat across from her. He looked around and noted that the place seemed fairly crowded - every barstool was filled and the tables were as well. They had just taken the last booth. Before Lara asked, he decided to begin explaining. "We're here to listen," he said.          Lara crossed her legs quietly and nodded. "I understand," she whispered, "This is how you patrol. You skulk around hangouts and see if there's anyone in distress."          "Sometimes, yes." He nodded. "I thought it might be appropriate today because it's cool and rainy out. People usually go home, but those who can't or don't want to--" He gestured toward the bar.          "This is very cool." Lara gave him an almost teasing smile. "Being a hero has made you learn how people think. You're becoming a student of psychology to be a better Hatman."          He laughed quietly. "I guess I am," he admitted.          "What's the deal with that guy?"          Hatman turned around to see what Lara was looking at. A thin man with extremely pale skin and long hair sat at the bar, slouched over, pretending not to notice anyone around him. The bartender was leaned over him trying to understand what drink he wanted.          "Look buddy--" the bartender was repeating himself from something he said earlier, the words that got Lara's attention. "Either you order something, take a booth, or leave. You can't sit here in a stool when the place is this crowded."          The pale man mumbled something. Hatman couldn't hear him no matter how much he strained, even as he switched to a Sonics cap to try and pick up what the man said.          "What was that?" the bartender asked. "Are you ordering something?" He leaned very close to the mumbling man until he was nearly touching him.          Then the pale man mumbled something else. And the bartender immediately turned pale and stumbled back a bit, before collapsing to the ground.          Hatman rose quickly as the pale man stood and shuffled quietly toward the door. "Lara," he spoke authoritatively, "I know you can heal people. Take care of the bartender." He didn't mean it to sound like an order, but it was force of habit.          Nevertheless, Lara understood his almost abrasive method. She stood and raced over to the bar, vaulting over it effortlessly to help the collapsed bartender. "Stay back," she warned everyone, "I don't want someone to get shocked." Using her unique talents she had checked for a heartbeat and found none.          She watched as Hatman returned from a quick trip outside. Apparently the pale, thin, mumbling man had gotten away. Lara noted him putting on a Paramedic cap, and she didn't hesitated a moment longer - she tore the bartender's shirt clear, and then licked each of her palms and pressed them both against his chest.          The bartender suddenly gasped and coughed and nearly sat up. He was breathing again, and his eyes were open.          "Should I call an ambulance?" another staff member asked.          Hatman shook his head. "Lara can get him to Phantomhawk faster."          Lara looked up. Hatman was right - with her ability to instantly transport herself across town, as easily as across the universe, she could get there without delay. "Hang in there," she told the bartender before she disappeared in a flash from the Fatal Toilet and reappeared in the emergency department at Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital. ---     "I need a doctor," Lara announced as she carefully kept the man's head propped up. Being in a costume made it easy for her to get attention from the doctors and nurses. The injured man was collected within seconds and wheeled into the intensive care unit.          By the time that ordeal was over, Hatman arrived at the hospital looking exhausted. He spotted Lara leaning against the doorway between the emergency waiting area and the intensive care unit, waiting. "What did the doctor say?" he asked Lara.          Lara shrugged. "Haven't heard anything yet," she said.          Almost as if she was heard, a doctor exited into the emergency area. He looked at Lara - while he didn't recognize her, he did remember the nurse telling him a black and white costumed female super hero brought in the patient.          "He's stable now," the doctor told her in an accented voice, "And seems to be in perfect health, though he's exhausted. The skin on his chest is a little red, though. It looks like he may have been electrocuted, but he recovered on his own."          "I jump-started his heart," Lara told the doctor. "It stopped, and he was dying."          The doctor looked at Hatman. He recognized the iconic Paradopolis super-hero, and hoped that the Capped Crusader would say something to contradict Lara's statement. He didn't. "If that's the case," he said, "Then you can congratulate yourself. You saved his life. But there's a...problem."          "A problem?" Hatman repeated.          "He's not responding mentally," the doctor told him. "His brain is physically intact. He responds to stimuli. But it's as if his personality is gone, trapped somewhere. He's in a catatonic state and may be indefinitely."          "I see." Hatman looked at Lara, who seemed sad now at having saved the man's life. "I guess we all did the best we could." He aimed that last comment specifically at Lara.          "Are we going to find the mumbler?" Lara asked, her voice sounding a little weak and defeated.          "How did you know what he's...?" Hatman shook his head when he realized that the answer to his question was obvious. "He's something of an urban legend. Hasn't been seen in public in ages. And no one at the Lair Legion has seen him before."          "He's actually called the Mumbler?" Lara asked.          "We call him that, yes." He nodded. "Since no one can understand what he says we just picked that name for him." Hatman frowned as he added, "But the name doesn't quite do justice to how dangerous he is. Nobody has ever heard what he says...and it's rumored that if you ever do understand a single word of his you die or go insane."          "It's not a rumor anymore," Lara noted sadly. "We just watched it happen. Now we have to find him somehow."          "There's slim chance of that," Hatman admitted. "He's been spotted before by police, by citizens, by reporters. Then he disappears for months or years at a time. He's popular in the local tabloids."          "Hmm." Lara sighed. "Too bad. It was becoming a pretty good mystery, I would have loved to help you solve it."          Hatman smiled. "You like a mystery, eh?"          She nodded.          "There are a few leads I've always wanted to follow up on to learn more about the Mumbler."          "Lead on," Lara urged him as she moved away from the wall and headed toward the hospital's exit. ---     It would have been almost too perfect. A graveyard in Gothametropolis so overgrown that it was practically dark in the daytime. Added with dark clouds above and pouring rain, the graveyard was at its daytime eerie perfection. There even seemed to be wisps of fog drifting among the gravestones.          "This place is interesting," Lara commented. She looked at Hatman and noted the spooked look on his face as lightning flashed in the distance. She remembered that her eyes might have flickered a glow for a moment because of the electricity in the air. "Oh," she explained with a smile, "Sometimes lightning sends a burst of electricity into me and my eyes arc or something."          "Does that hurt?" he asked.          She shook her head. "I feel an electric tingle all over for a second but I'm used to it. So who are we visiting in a graveyard? Someone dead?"          "Yes," Hatman replied truthfully. "Ghouls, to be exact. They seem to know a lot about the supernatural around here, so it's a good place to start. Plus they sent me a note asking if I wanted to know about the Mumbler a while back and I never took them up on it." He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't think the Mumbler was real until now."          The two of them pushed their way through the stone door of a crypt in the graveyard. Heavy as the door was it seemed to give way rather easily. The interior of the crypt was lit by torches mounted on the walls. The door slammed shut as soon as they were inside.          "Interesting," Lara noted, seeming to ignore the slamming door, though it spooked Hatman for a moment. It didn't disturb her because she always had her own method of escape. "It's warm in here. And very clean...and while it's raining outside there are no leaks."     "Yes, when you need an entrance to remain for hundreds of years you need to keep it up." an wrinkled, pale old man carrying a torch agreed. He had a calming voice and presence that betrayed his frail, almost dead appearance. "I'm sorry, interrupting was rude of me. I am the Abyssal Greye."          "I guess you know who I am," Hatman introduced. "This is Lara Night. She's visiting from another universe."          "Excellent opportunity," Greye noted. "To learn more about what's beyond this small universe of ours."          "First we need to know about the Mumbler," Hatman went straight to the point. "We watched him...we saw him nearly kill someone--"          "And you'd like to catch him." Greye shook his head. "You can catch a raindrop but you can't stop the rain."     "What does that mean?" Hatman asked.          "He means if we catch the Mumbler than more people could die than he's ever harmed up until now." Lara shrugged and smiled when Hatman stared at her. "I've had a little experience with abstract thought."          "She is correct," Greye agreed. "The most amicable lion on Earth will go on a murderous rampage if it's cornered, starved, or threatened with harm. As much as humans wish they were above that...they're not."          "Who is he, then?" Hatman asked.          "He is unalive," Greye replied as if it was something he said often. "Not dead. Not alive. He carries a terrible curse. The man known as the Mumbler was alive once...but he is no longer. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that. So he wanders the Earth confused, a victim of his curse. Frustrated, because he can't communicate."          "Because he mumbles?" Lara asked.          "No," Greye told her. "He mumbles because his voice causes living creatures to fail. He mumbles out of conscience, knowing that he can never allow anyone to hear his words. He hopes someone will understand him without meeting their death."          "That's kind of...sad," Lara noted.          "Sadly the best thing for him," Greye spoke slowly, "Is for someone to destroy his unalive body...to release his soul. To free him from his misery. But those such as you too, deeply immersed in conscience...you would never be able to do that without suffering for a lifetime. It's a task best left to someone who can do so logically and without thought."          Lara looked at Hatman sadly, but she didn't speak a word. They both understood the truth now - that even if they managed to catch the Mumbler, as they were so enthusiastic to do, neither one of them would be able to do what was necessary to stop him. And they might be responsible for additional deaths just for trying. In short...they had already failed before they began.          "I'm sure at some point the Mumbler will be destroyed," Greye reassured them. "It is only a matter of time. Meanwhile you can be assured that he is not any more dangerous than the most petty criminal that you usually leave to the police. He doesn't come out often. But also be aware that at any time he might increase his presence, and you should be prepared."      TO BE CONTINUED -- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, and may not be -- reprinted without permission. -- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow -- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin -- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

To the Spirit of the Night, I surrender...